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me when offered soda: yes. love the bübblés
me when offered water: yes! a fresh and sexy beverage
me when offered sparkling water: Why Are You Trying To Murder Me Under The Guise Of Hospitality

I’m gonna keep saying it: sparkling water is Angry Water and I do not need that kind of negativity in my life

Sparkling water is like sprite except instead of sugar they use hatred and sadness

Don't be the product, buy the product!